Piercing the Equilibrium

they are grown now
the little fingers that grabbed
the straggled hair
covering your arms
that I cradled
while you sucked and puckered
oozing milk like blood
filling your nervous system
with mine
eyes content to rest
on all the moods of a worn out woman
shifting her being, her foundation
like an earthquake
to accommodate your own
eyes that now dart away
from my careful glance
arms that recoil from my touch
lips that smacked at the scent of my body nearby
now form words of pained confusion
with bitter fuel poised as love
piercing the equilibrium
I gather around me
built from years of visions
and rhythmic silences
still detecting a trace
of the nectar smell
through the crown
that my chin circles
when I can get close enough
without startling you into memory
of the betrayal
destiny etched as a script
you wrote long ago
when you chose me
as your vessel
to birth you into time
to carry the burdens of truth
to yet another level
I can only hope to share
when you come back
on a day I envision
you larger, fuller
thick with wisdom
moving by instinct
toward our newness
fresh with feminine color
when those moments of anguish
will fade
with the glow of spirits
eager to move on
in a journey of cycles of life
memories that infuse me
with hope
I hold as a beacon
to guide me through
this terrible pain
that gnaws my skin
and leaves me trembling with the fear
I may be mistaken

– “piercing the equilibrium,“ July 2000